Bestial thinking.

The air of the room was getting more and more suffocating with every word I let out. Like leaking gas asphyxiating you, seeping through your respiratory system, as you’re leisurely losing your consciousness without even realizing it…The walls were closing in on my mind. All the chaotic thoughts were getting compressed like an old junk car in a scrap yard. I was left with nothing to speak. I felt naked, because I had no excuses and no explanations to cover the unforgivable mistake I did or to warm up the atmosphere that the emotionless discussion was causing. My heart was deadpan. It carried no mercy neither indulgence, but only stupid selfishness…I kept asking myself seeking answers I knew I couldn’t find…When did I become this kind of person? When did I sign up to all of this? Because, I had no idea that the stream of some concatenations was leading me to complete disaster: Destruction of the soul. I had no idea, it was going to make me ram a huge rock until I faint and drown like a sinking titanic. I was the cause of death of many passengers I was carrying on board: passion, cordiality and many more. The only feeling that was growing inside me was hate. I hated myself for what I was capable of and for all the reasons I couldn’t find to justify what I committed…
It was a nightmare, sneaking to my life, darkening all its bright Panglossian sides and shading my feelings until I became a person with the heart of a beast…Acerbic ideas started flying around my head, foisting me to pronounce words I never thought I could use. I was trapped in my own mess. The more I spoke, the messier my mind was getting, the perplexed I was becoming…
It was then I realized that the right decision isn’t always the right one, because sometimes, even logic can be wrong. Yes, it can. Because there are some things which are stronger than logic: Feelings.

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